Was having a conversation with my friend today who was commenting that she had been in conversations with a couple of mutual acquaintances who, when talking about working from home, had both made a similar comment that it was a great situation as "I can be with my kids and use my brain too! She felt this was demoralising as it inferred that SAHMs are brain dead.
My thoughts are:
1. I think the comment is caught up in the world's view about 'identity' and what they feel they draw their identity from (Nicole is in the middle of writing a great series on this topic).
2. It is used as an excuse/justification for why they have returned to work.
3. They are trying to frame their selfish ambitions (career advancement) in an altruistic light so they don't have to feel guilty about their choice.
What are your thoughts?
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7 years ago
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I thought I had written a blog on this subject when I was expecting Josh, after some comments work collegues made, but I can't seem to find it. But the guist (sp) of their comments was that I would become lazy & my kids would be spoilt.
Speaking from experience, I believe the rewards for being a SAHM far outweigh any SO CALLED disadvantages.
In fact I would go so far as to say one's brain becomes more active with running a home program with and for the children. As you say, depends what ones ambitions are.
"trying to frame their selfish ambitions (career advancement) in an altruistic light so they don't have to feel guilty about their choice." sounds a bit harsh. A lot of mums who work from home have chosen an alternative career or made sacrifices in their career in order to work from home so they can spend more time with their kids.
I can sympathise with Stay at home mums feeling brain dead. When was the last time you had a conversation that really got you thinking, made you analyse and process and distill information or rebutt arguments? I started one today and I thought, "Gee, this feels good, actually arguing thoughtfully. I wish I could do this more often."
Not saying there isn't HUGE value in talking to my kids about batman or how to play snap but I do miss interacting with ideas on a higher level. I'm not planning to work from home any time soon but I'm going to look out for ways to sharpen my intellect again now that I have recovered from pregnancy brain!
Linda I find there are many opportunities for SAHM to have "conversations that really got you thinking, made you analyse and process and distill information or rebutt arguments?" Being a SAHM doesn't mean that you have to lock yourself in the house & never have contact with the outside world...ok that's a bit extreme. But in all honesty I have many "meaty" conversations with friends over coffee, at playgroup, at Bible study & even with my husband (when we're not so tired that we just collapse into bed). So I think sometimes comments such as I'm bored/brain dead are just excuses.
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